I’m really starting to treasure breastfeeding, but it took a while for me to get into this headspace. To give you some context, Eden (4 mo) drinks breastmilk exclusively and likes the boob only, so my daily schedule revolves around the times she eats without having the flexibility of using a bottle.

In the first 3 months especially, I felt imprisoned by the task–I was on standby for my baby 24/7, stuck in a chair for a total of 7-8 hours a day, feeling like I was missing out on everything going on beyond my living room window.  It was a really hard transition for me.  My body wasn’t mine anymore.  I felt like I had lost my freedom.  I was in a constant state of giving giving giving and crying seemed to be the only thing that refilled my cup.

Nowadays, I’m in a better place; the postpartum fog, once dense with discontent and worry, is finally letting in some light 🌤 Now as I nurse, I hug Eden into my chest and sense a bond that didn’t exist in the first and second months. There are moments when Eden will pause, stop drinking, turn her head to look up into my eyes.. and knock me out with a big grin, as if to say “mmm 맛있다” (mmm yummy) and then go right back to drinking 😂  I like to imagine that she’s thanking me for being there for her, even though it can be hard on me.  I savor the quiet, peaceful moments of nursing and when it get hard again, I thank @aliwong for putting things into comical perspective (though Eden going Leo vs bear on my nipples is not funny at all). Her little arm shading her closed eyes.  Her hands grasping back and forth at my shirt.  Her satisfied smile after she’s been replenished.  These images are wonderfully etched into my memory. These moments are sacred to me.

Well… you know you’re a mom when you can talk about your boobs on social media and not care.  This month is all about #normalizingbreastfeeding so I figured this was the breast way to start.  Happy breastfeeding awareness week/month!